Your night together is tremendous. There are no dips in the conversation. The quiet moments aren’t threatening but a muted intermission to absorb each other. To allow a thoughtful reply to marinate. In both of your minds. The next question will manifest without an exhaustive effort. No matter the avenue you used to meet this new person at this point you both are grading each other as a “success.” Imagine you’re sitting across from your date. When the topic reemerges about what the both of you offer to a potential love connection; what you supply to the potential romantic partnership to nurture it into a lasting relationship, you easily sell the traits that comprise who you are. Make no mistake, dating is a love/lust transaction. Tearing love down to the studs and bare foundation…it’s a sales pitch. You’ve presented your worthy qualifications. From her lips: “I bring nothing but my looks.”
Now what?
She isn’t flirting in this moment even though the grin that puts a bead of sweat over your left eyebrow makes an appearance. Nor is she being a jester or relying on her fluency in sarcasm. (Because that’s a clever form of humor.) She’s serious. You listed off for her your seven positives and three negatives - we all have them - that you’re currently working on.
Once more she explains that her appearance is her comprehensive addition to what may blossom between you both after this evening concludes. It is the sole chip she’s going to use to close this deal. Her presentation does contain subtext. However, it’s all connected to her appearance. Her gym and fitness schedule is one she adheres to with the diligence she applies to her career.
At the gym, she works on her glutes, hips, and thighs for two hours every Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday features one hour of light cardio “just to get a great sweat and admire” her work. On Thursdays, she swims to “activate every area that looks good in all my clothes.” That’s 75-minutes. She uses her second bedroom as a small workout studio with a stationary bike, free weights, and yoga for weekend mornings.
You ask probing questions because you feel compelled to investigate this. It’s clear that she’s great with planning and keeping to a schedule. Wonderful traits. She’s committed to her goals and doesn’t relent. That’s a layered assessment that can skew negatively or positively dependent upon what’s driving her pursuit. Add it to the column of why you should date her. It expresses a loud dedication. Your mom will love all these flowery descriptions when you call her Saturday morning.
Your date discards them all. She wants you to provide for her in every way possible. She wants a soft life if you date her. You’ll take care of all your issues “on your own” because she’s around to be showered with affection, gifts, praise, and your time. She’s around to be placed atop the pedestal that she “deserves” while you get to brag to everyone that she’s yours…as long as you understand that she only brings her beauty to the union.
How would you receive that?
How should anyone?
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