It was rare on this warm winter evening in SoCal for me to drop a date off at her place. This is Los Angeles, love. I don’t care how much of a princess you claim to be, drive your extravagant self to the venue. The unassuming way we spent the last four hours together was akin to a slow-simmering succulent meal. The desire to be there with a stranger burned perfectly for interest but not enough to have sex on the bar. After a passionate goodnight kiss of which we almost melted into one another, she galloped on her stride to her door. There was even a giddy skip! My left hand instinctively reached for her but she had her back turned just enough for me to slide my paw into my pocket undetected. After typing on her phone - while at her doorstep - she waited for me to enter my vehicle and roll down the window. “Hey, mister?! I lied about my availability tomorrow. Let’s get lunch - and we can cook dinner together. Here. Good?” I nodded, we blew kisses to each other, and I slowly crawled away until her door locked behind her. Two miles from my highway exit, a thought: I experienced my last first date.
At some point dating has to yield THE breakthrough evening where you both get a small inkling that you’ve met a true person with spectacular potential. That, or you’ll seek treatment involving ice cream, cake, cheeseburgers and liquor. We all soothe ourselves in our own particular ways. Be kind not to judge anyone.
Have you considered your last first date?
How would you want it to unfold?
A complicating factor of allowing your mind to drift to this space is that in reality we don’t know the outcome. You don’t get spoilers on the first date. None of us know that our last first date is happening while we’re there. While we’re actually on it. We’re just hoping we’re not implicated in a crime and get back home into our torn, comfy, sweats that never poke fun at our calorie intake. I had two desserts - and a spoonful of her pie slice. Shhhhhh…
Mentally nudge yourself into laughing four seconds longer at a snippy comment that is truly worthy of a 2 second chuckle with a slick wink of your eye. It’s still a date, guy. Look alive. Get yourself into the night.
Play it up a tad but don’t become cheesy about it. Look at her smile. Do you see her perfect skin? Her skincare routine is immaculate. You could wake up to that for the rest of your life. You like how that sounds? Also, she’s the only human that never farts. Her words.
The hope is there. Even though you’ve had to spend - at this rate - thousands of dollars you’ll never recoup on years of OK evenings…you’re here. Make it count. Be memorable. Honest. She’s not even afraid of the fact that you’re switching careers, currently, even though it terrifies you every time you see your bank account balance.
He stole a peck from you when you least expected it and boy was he afraid to do so. After you scolded him slightly, you knew that he listened during your three hour phone call four days ago that led you both to this summer fair. He had a habit of letting “the moment” pass. He admitted to such. You said that he’d hate himself if he allowed that mindset to seep into (more of) his romantic dates.
After you sank the last jumper on the mini-court to win an unlimited pass to the fair for the next two weeks it’s in town, he took his own shot…at your lips. Three years later you’ll have a small ceremony where vows are exchanged over a deluge of tears. His. You’re a bit of a robot.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Dating Journal to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.