Growing up we usually have certain ideas and milestones we hope to achieve. Getting accepted into a good college, or working hard at a smaller one to transfer into a large university in order to set ourselves up for the future. Linked to that is obviously finding a great career, surrounding ourselves with a circle of compelling and loving friends to add to our existing family units – or creating a family from friends to the point where the labels are interchangeable. Purchasing a home. Taking care of our parents. Maybe, buying them a home. Proudly. Huge markers of success.
At times, I remember reciting a similar list, saying the things that I wanted, for my life, to myself, in my journal, or when daydreaming. Let’s get through high school, even though I hate every day that I’m there. (Well, outside of the ditch/hookie/cut party of the week, which loosely references school. It was a school activity. School was discussed, as in, we need to stop “making out on your mom’s bed and go back to English class” or “She’s not coming home for a while, right?”)
I’ll do something for a career that makes money but also brings me joy and fulfillment. I’m still working on that. I could create the next crypto wallet or run for political office. There are no requirements in the U.S. for that. Ponzi schemes won’t start themselves. Maybe they do. I need a refresher.
As we age, we consider most of the above as pieces in the greater puzzle of life. Hopeful that it all will take care of itself. In some sort of life auto-pilot. We tend to believe that if we’re doing our part on the path to our aspirations that most of our goals will fall into place. Of course, not in a neat manner or on our personal schedule but we believe that they can happen. That they will.
I’m just going to play the lottery and cut the line to everything I want. A thought I had when I bought my very first ticket soon after my 18th birthday. To date, I’m not a heavy lotto investor. Every now and then I’ll purchase two tickets a year once the news reports declare that a jackpot is reaching close to one billion – or figures approaching it. At that point, I usually say, “It’s just a two-dollar ticket. Why not?”
Paid for. Usually with a coffee cake or some donuts. Don’t stare at me. I love sweets.
As a society, as humans, we believe that love – and a great relationship with it will just happen at some point.
No different from a stunning spring day in New York City or a Wednesday in Los Angeles. It’s. Just. Going. To. Happen. How can anyone ponder otherwise?
Then, for many, it doesn’t. Or it takes decades of searching. Some hold out hope. Others give up and focus their energy to building a life absent a romantic partner.
An idea has churned inside my head for years. This isn’t a new thought:
Is finding someone truly special as rare as hitting the lottery?
Think about it. Seriously.
As kids, we’re all exposed to different forms of love or relationships. As we mature, we develop skills to determine if the relationships in our lives were positive, negative, or neutral. My parents loved each other but I’ll simply say that what they had isn’t an example I’m going to copy.
When you’re single and out in the world dating, let’s just assume that you are single when you’re prowling for dates, creep. That’s paying for the lottery slip. If you hit the jackpot, here, you claim the best partner that shatters your dreams of what a partner can be.
Why?
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